Mr. Stonefish

One of the trickiest fish in the sea is the Stonefish.

(Not to be confused with the Rockfish, which is another fish that is not dangerous at all, or Rockfish the movie staring Vin Deisel, which may be a little dangerous if you like viewing movies involving talent)

<-- Rockfish

Vin Deisel -->

So what about this Stonefish? Why must we be wary of it?

The Stonefish is a carnivorous ray finned fish with venemous spines that lives on reef bottoms, camouflaged as a rock. It is the most venomous known fish in the world.

Not only is this dude completetly camouflaged as a rock, one of the most common things found on the ocean floor...it's the most venemous fish, ever. Oh, so where do you suppose a creature such as this dwells?

Well, its main habitat is on coral reefs, around dull coloured plants, near and about rocks, or can be found dormant in the mud or sand.

Only all the places a rock would dwell as well. Of course.

HOME SWEET STONE:

The stonefish lives primarily above the tropic of Capricorn, and is known to be found in the shallow tropical marine waters of the Pacific and Indian oceans, ranging from the Red Sea to the Queensland Great Barrier Reef.

The average length of most stonefish is about 35-50 centimeters. It has a mottled greenish to mostly brown colour which aids in its ability to camouflage itself among the rocks of many of the tropical reefs. It eats mostly small fish, shrimp and other crustaceans.

Oh right! It's carnivorous too.

One of the funnest fact of our little tricky friend is that it is a fish that can survive out of water for up to 20 hours. That's almost a whole day worth of extra danger, should one choose to come to shore and terrorize us on our own turf.

The Stonefish VENOM:

Its dorsal area is lined with spines that release a venemous toxin. It is the most dangerous of known venemous fish and its venom causes severe pain with possible shock, paralysis, and tissue death depending on the depth of the penetration. This level can be fatal to humans if not given medical attention within a couple of hours.

Typically, surviving victims suffer localized nerve damage occasionally leading to atrophy of adjoining muscle tissues.
The pain is said to be so bad that the victims of its sting want the affected limb to be amputated.

(The poisonous sting of Scorpion Fish and Lionfish are said to deliver the same level of pain.)

EVADING:

It has not yet been confirmed if the Sting Ray Shuffle is 100% effective in evading these creatures, but in theory it should work. At the very least you will kick Mr. Stonefish and want to amputate your toe isntead of stepping directly on him and begging the doctor to get rid of your whole, fully engulfed in the worst pain you have ever felt, foot.

I'm just saying, I'm not going to let a poisonous rock make me a cripple.

I ain't gunna be no one's appetizer

The Humboldt Squid

There is an alien intelligence residing deep within the Monterey Bay, a bizarre life form that appears to be proliferating by the thousands in cold black waters far below the surface. It resides within creatures that have three hearts, primate-like stereoscopic eyes, blue blood and brains large enough to suggest they are among the smartest creatures on earth. They are giant raptorial predators with a taste for flesh. Growing up to seven feet long and occasionally bigger—possibly much bigger—these carnivores seize their prey with two lightning-fast, hook-laden tentacle clubs, draw it into a squirming nest of eight arms and proceed to tear chunks of flesh from its body with a disproportionately large, razor-sharp, parrot-like beak.

They are notorious cannibals. They have been called the most opportunistic killers in the sea. They have been observed employing cooperative hunting techniques, yet they will not hesitate to gorge upon one another should they sense the slightest possible opening. Although they primarily hunt fish, they have been rumored to kill and eat small mammals, even dogs. They will attack anything over which they sense an advantage, including humans. Divers recount breathtaking beatings, painful lacerations from their sharp hooks and even incidences where, working in teams, these animals have dragged divers into deeper water to subdue them.

They are Dosidicus gigas or Humboldt Squid, the fiercest of all the cephalopods, and for reasons unknown to science, they are appearing in huge numbers along the West Coast, from the Gulf of Mexico to Southeast Alaska, including a sizable population right here in the Monterey Bay.


The Humboldt squid is capable of changing colors several times a second, from the deep maroon that prompted Mexican fisherman to dub them los diablos rojos, or “red devils,” to an opalescent white. They have been observed pulsating like jittery strobe at each other, principally while hunting or feeding, a behavior that some researchers theorize could be some form of communication.

There is just too much information to post on these squid. And now they are in California. Granted one will probably not be playing in the waves of a beach in Oceanside, it's still a scary thought. They have been reported to attack prey in a "gang bang" style. And during a special I watched on some Discovery Channel type program, a group of smaller Humboldt squid caught some prey (large fish I believe) and drug it down to a much larger squid. The lack of light at this depth didn't allow the camera to capture more than the reaching tentacles, and the galre of an eye. But with the technology we have today the researchers were able to calculate that the hidden moster was about 120 ft long.

Let me repeat that: 120 freaking feet long!

To the group of 6ft Humboldts you are probably going to be a nice meal for a group of buddies. Like a plate of ribs, or a holiday ham to split between family members. But to Mr 120 Feet you are nothing more than an appetizer. At best.

The first thing I tell all my friends about

The Sting Ray Shuffle.

Who knows how many times this has saved my life!

The sting ray shuffle is the simple act of shuffling your feet on the ocean floor as you enter. This simple act can save you a multitude of difficulty. This will kick up the sand, letting any sand-basking sting ray know you are on your way, and give him opportunity to move before you step on him! This way he doesnt get stepped on (probably not too pleasant) and you dont have to get stung (definitely not pleasant).

Now I know that when you want to frolic in the waves of the all-inviting sea water the last thing you want to do is take some extra time to shuffle your feet....you might even feel a tad bit silly...but it's worth it.



Me giving an example of the sting ray shuffle at Lisa's bachelorette party

Remember kids: When entering the Sea don't be tempted to hustle, always do the Sting Ray Shuffle!

Welcome to DSAA

This is the Dangers of the Sea Awareness Alliance!

The Sea. A very dangerous place.
Beautiful, magestic, and mysterious.
We know more about outter-space than we know about our own ocean.

It is so easy to get distracted by the beauty and the appeal of the ocean, but what lies beneath may not be so apealing. Or beautiful.

The DSAA is your source for information on what to look out for to make sure your Sea experience is nothing but a pleasant one.

Please note - I do not hate the ocean. I love the ocean. I just have a very healthy fear of the things dwelling in it that can kill or potentially harm me in any way. Also the bone-crushing waves cause some worry as well.


I thank you.