The DSAA

Freaky Fish: Group #6

2008-04-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

Not to be confused with The Creepy Creeps [good band]...

here is the next group of freaks:

You Creep Me Out

Vampire Squid

The Vampire Squid is a small, deep-sea cephalopod found throughout the temperate and tropical oceans of the world. It shares similarities with both squid and octopods. It was first described and mistakenly identified as an octopus in 1903. Its 6 inch gelatinous body varies in color between velvety jet-black and pale reddish, depending on location and lighting conditions. A webbing of skin connects its eight arms, each lined with rows of fleshy spines or cirri; the inside of this "cloak" is black. Only half farthest from the body of the arms have suckers. Its limpid, globular eyes—which appear red or blue, also depending on lighting—are proportionately the largest in the animal kingdom at 1 inch in diameter. Like many deep-sea cephalopods, Vampire Squid lack ink sacs. If threatened, instead of ink, a sticky cloud of bioluminescent mucus containing innumerable orbs of blue light is ejected from the arm tips.

SAFETY LEVEL: At a maximum 1 foot in total length, the Vampire Squid is no threat to humans. Whew!

Human Faced Carp

The human-faced carp are definitely products of selective breeding by humans. Generations of fish were bred to emphasive their "human" features, most notably their forward-facing eyes. These features would likely be a disadvantage in the wild - but then, these particular fish aren't going anywhere near the wild anytime soon. The so-called "Human Face Fish" are hybrids of common carp and leather carp. The fish rather large - about 32 inches long - and it's said that their heads have begun to take on a more human look as time goes by.

SAFETY LEVEL: They aren't even in the ocean. And even if they were the most harm they could do is give you a dirty look.

And yes, it's real:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTVwgvqhwn8

Spook Fish

Barreleyes, also known as spookfish (a name also applied several species of chimaera), are small, deep-sea, odd-looking osmeriform fish. These fish are named for their barrel-shaped, tubular eyes which in most species are fixed gazing upwards. The toothless mouth is small and terminal, ending in a pointed snout. The body of most species is a dark brown covered in large, silvery imbricate scales; but these are absent in others, leaving the body itself a transparent white. In all species a variable number of dark melanophores colour the muzzle, ventral surface, and midline. Also present in these fish are a number of luminous organs that glow with a weak light due to the presence of symbiotic bioluminescent bacteria.

SAFETY LEVEL: Safe. They dwell so very deep in the ocean, you will probably never encounter one. Plus they have no teeth or poison spikes or appetites for flesh. Yay!

NEXT CATEGORY: STRAIGHT UP ALIENS

Freaky Fish: Group #5

2008-04-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

DAMN YOU OLD!

Frillshark

Superficially, the frilled shark resembles a dark brown or grey eel, but the six gill slits identify it as a shark. The tissue of the gill slits protrudes somewhat, thus inspiring the common name. Its teeth are small and very sharp. It has been recorded at up to 2 m in length. They are found worldwide, but they are very rarely found in shallow water. They have been reported mainly near Norway, South Africa, New Zealand, and Chile. The sharks are usually found at depths of between 50 m and 1,500 m. They typically eat squid, other sharks, and deepwater bony fish. The frilled shark is sometimes referred to as a living fossil partially because the species has changed little since pre-historic times.

SAFETY LEVEL: Don't go deep sea diving dressed as a squid, shark, or bony fish, and you should be cool.

RockfishNot to be confused with Mr. Stonefish, of course!

Rockfishes are slow-growing and extremely long-lived. Black rockfishes become sexually mature at about 10 years of age and have been aged to 40 years. Yelloweye rockfish n are a longer-lived species, becoming sexually mature around 15 years of age and living in excess of 100 years. There have been unconfirmed ages of fish at 114 years. That means some of those rockfish were possibly alive during the Civil War and when the United States bought Alaska from Russia in 1867! Members of some species do not wander very far and actually have a very strong preference for a specific site. If a fish is captured and relocated elsewhere, it will quickly return to its original home site.

SAFETY LEVEL: Safe!

Nothing too creepo today! New Group coming Monday!

NEXT CATEGORY: YOU CREEP ME OUT

Freaky Fish: Group #4 [1/2 way there!]

2008-04-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

That's right kids! We are 1/2 way through getting to know our freaky little friends. Well, frenemies I suppose. :)

Today's group is

The Look At Me's !

Sounds a bit like a band: "Car and The Look At Me's". We'd definitely play weddings, bat mitzvah's, and the occasional high school reunion. I like it. Auditions start soon.

Parrotfish

This Parrotfish is for all you Bears fans out there :) What a true fan. Take that T. Brums, this guy LIVES it. Parrotfish are mostly tropical and are abundant on shallow reefs of the Red Sea, Atlantic, Indian and Pacific Oceans. Parrotfish are named for their oral dentition; their numerous teeth are arranged in a tightly packed mosaic on the external surface of the jaw bones, forming a parrot-like beak which is used to rasp algae from coral and other rocky substrates. Many species are also brightly coloured in shades of blue, green, red and yellow. [So technically I suppose we could have Bear, Charger, Packer, Patriot, and Seahawk fans roaming the sea as well ;) Sigh...I miss football season.] Although they are considered to be herbivores, parrotfish eat a wide variety of organisms that live on coral reefs. Parrotfishes stay within shallow waters of no more than about 70 meters in depth. By night they cram themselves into crevices, some species secreting a thick coat of mucus, like a little surrounding bubble. The mucus is thought to mask their scent from nocturnal predators such as the moray eel and may serve to protect the fish from infection by parasites.

SAFETY LEVEL: Safe. And pretty.

Pingpong Tree SpongeThe organism resembling a modernist light fixture is a Ping-Pong tree sponge, which can reach a height of 50 centimeters. A carnivore, it has Velcro-like spicules [Spicules are skeletal structures that occur in most sponges] on its surface, the better to capture the creatures that alight [settle] on it. Cells in the sponge then migrate toward the prey and consume it.

SAFETY LEVEL: Well it dwells pretty freaking deep in the sea, so as long as you don't alight on it's spicules you should be cool. The whole migrating cell thing is just wrong, however. Le blegh!

Unidentified Species

These guys are so wacked out the people who discovered them can't even identify them. Sweet.

SAFETY LEVEL: Guilty until proven innocent. The top one looks like a squid hybrid with a huge mouth, and the bottom like a jellyfish tangled in ribbons. No bueno. Thankfully they lurk deep, deep down, which is probably better for everyone.

That's all for [Car and] The Look At Me's! You've been a great audience! Thank you and good night!

NEXT CATEGORY: DAMN YOU OLD

Freaky Fish: Group #3

2008-04-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Group #3 of the Freaky Fish Series

Fugly Fools

Now, I know we can argue that some previous Freaks should also be in the Fugly category *cough* Blob Fish *cough*

but these fish are soley here for Fugly purposes, and hopefully no dangers will be discovered lurking beneath the fug.

CoffinfishThe Coffinfish has a flabby body and long tail that are both covered with small spines. It has a black mouth lining and an illicium on the snout that can be lowered into a groove.
This species grows to at least 10 cm in length.

SAFETY LEVEL: Not noted to be dangerous to humans, but anything covered in spines is something to be wary of. They tend to dwell deepsea though, so if you are out there in the first place, you are kind of asking for trouble anyway.

Batfish

Holy mollusks Batfish!

Also called the Red Lipped Batfish, this fish has a broad head, slight body, and is covered in large gnarled lumps. Batfish are not good swimmers; they use their pectoral fins to "walk" on the ocean floor. When the batfish reaches adulthood, its dorsal fin becomes a single spine-like projection that lures prey. Batfish eat shrimps, mollusks, small fish, crabs, and worms.

SAFETY LEVEL: Well, it walks, so it doesn't seem too threatening. Plus, it's flat and lumpy. I'm guessing pretty danger free. It kinda looks like a muppet as well...Yay Batfish!

Scorpion Fish

The scorpionfish are a family of mostly marine fish that includes many of the world's most venomous species. The family is a large one, with hundreds of members. They are widespread in tropical and temperate seas, but mostly found in the Indo-Pacific. The spines of the dorsal, anal, and pelvic fins all have venom glands at their bases. Most species are bottom-dwellers that feed on crustaceans and smaller fish, in some cases using the spines to paralyze their victims before gulping them. Others, such as the stonefish (Mr Stonefish appears again...I knew he was a menace!), wait in disguise for prey to pass them by before swallowing, while Lionfish often ambush their prey.

SAFETY LEVEL: Do I even have to say it? HIGHLY DANGEROUS people! Just go re-read about Mr. Stonefish if you need more confirmation about the dangers of him and his family members. The mafia of the sea, I'd say.

Wolf Eel

Wolf-eels have a very long, eellike body with no pelvic fins or lateral line. They're mostly gray to brown, sometimes greenish, with round dark spots surrounded by pale rings on their body and fins. Their scales are minute and embedded in the skin. Their large jaws have distinctive teeth that are a combination of large canine teeth in the front of the jaws and massive , grinding, molar-shaped teeth at the back of the jaws. They grow up to 7 feet and 40 pounds. Wolf-eels are common in cold waters from Alaska to San Diego. Adults live on the bottom in subtidal areas to 740 feet. They're usually found among rocks on reefs or in wrecks, often denning in caves and crevices. Contrary to their appearance, they are not related to true eels, such as morays. When young they are quite active, but as they age they eventually become "rock potatoes" and move into rock shelters or eaves. A wolf-eel may remain in its chosen spot for the rest of its life unless forced out by another wolf eel or an octopus. A wolf-eel pair seems to mate for life, The pair often lies side by side with their heads together. Awe...

SAFETY LEVEL: For the most part, wolf-eels are peaceful and shy, but some of the larger animals seem to be unusually aggressive. Divers say that the animals can be taught to eat out of a hand; however, the wolf-eel should be considered dangerous because of its extremely strong jaws and sharp teeth, which are designed for crushing shells.

Fanfin Seadevil

They are found in deep, lightless waters of the Atlantic, Indian and Pacific Oceans. Females reach a total length of 20cm, but males only grow to 1.6cm. Males have well developed sense organs that are used to find a female. When a male finds a female, he bites her and doesn't let go. His skin fuses with the female and he becomes a parasite on her. (I think we've all had relationships like this, yes?)

SAFETY LEVEL: Unless you are a female Fanfin, probably not that worrisome. But still kinda grosso :(

And that's a wrap for the Fugs!

NEXT CATEGORY: LOOK AT ME!

Freaky Fish: Group #2

2008-04-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

Here we go with the 2nd group of Freaky Fish:

The Fanged Freaks

Fangtooth

Found in the tropical waters of the Pacific and Atlantic Ocean. In adults, the largest two fangs of the lower jaw are so long that the fangtooths have evolved a pair of opposing sockets on either side of the brain to accommodate the teeth when the mouth is closed. The Fangtooth has the largest teeth of any fish in the ocean, proportionate to body size. The larger of the two Fangtooth species, the common fangtooth, reaches a maximum length of just 16 centimetres (6 inches); the shortthorn fangooth is about half this size.

SAFETY LEVEL: While understandably named for their disproportionately large, fang-like teeth and unapproachable visage, fangtooths are actually quite small and harmless to humans.

Scaly DragonfishFound worldwide in tropical, subtropical and temperate oceans (except the north Pacific and northwest Atlantic Oceans), at depths of between 200 and 1,500 m. Its length is between 20 and 32 cm. The scaly dragonfish's head appears to be all jaws and eye with a short thick chin barbel. All the fins, apart from the pectorals, are set well back towards the tail.

SAFETY LEVEL: Not much reported on the Scaly Dragonfish's interaction with humans. They are most known of the coast of Australia. Considering they are rather small, they may not be too dangerous. Still, large fangs are not the most inviting aspect of a fish. Caution is advised.

That wraps up the Fanged fish! Mostly interesting to the eye, and less astounding as the ever popular Blob Fish, these dudes are just a good thing to avoid, as most things with fangs are I feel.

NEXT CATEGORY: Fugly Fools

The Freaky Fish Series!

2008-04-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

So Miss Erin Burks drew my attention to a website that was very helpful to the DSAA. It highlighted a lot of freaky fish to be wary of. Not all of them may be harmful though, so I am researching them individually so we can concluded which ones we should avioid for our safety, and which ones are just plain crazy (and just...plain unharmful).

The Freaky Fish Series will be split up as there are far too many for one post. There wll be 8 groups in total so keep checking cause this is really incredible stuff actually.

Group 1

Blob Freaks

Angler

The fish are named for their characteristic method of predation. Anglerfish typically have three long filaments sprouting from the middle of the head; these are the detached and modified three first spines of the anterior dorsal fin. In most anglerfish species, the longest filament is the first. This first spine protrudes above the fish's eyes, and terminates in an irregular growth of flesh at the tip of the spine. The spine is movable in all directions, and can be wiggled so as to resemble a prey animal, thus to act as bait to lure other predators close enough for the anglerfish to devour them whole.

They occur worldwide.

SAFETY LEVEL: Listed by the ICES as "outside safe biological limits".

Blob Fish

This fish is called blob Sculpin due to its blob like, flabby shape. This fish has no traditional spines like many other fish do and look and feel different to those fish living in the shallower seas. It has very small eyes in comparison to many deep sea fish.

SAFETY LEVEL: There aren't any official reports on it, but it doesn't seem very harmful at all. Just icky.

That seems to be it for the Blob Freaks category! Kinda grosso...

NEXT CATEGORY: Fang Faces

Mr. Stonefish

2008-03-24T13:14:00.000-07:00

One of the trickiest fish in the sea is the Stonefish.

(Not to be confused with the Rockfish, which is another fish that is not dangerous at all, or Rockfish the movie staring Vin Deisel, which may be a little dangerous if you like viewing movies involving talent)

<-- Rockfish

Vin Deisel -->

So what about this Stonefish? Why must we be wary of it?

The Stonefish is a carnivorous ray finned fish with venemous spines that lives on reef bottoms, camouflaged as a rock. It is the most venomous known fish in the world.

Not only is this dude completetly camouflaged as a rock, one of the most common things found on the ocean floor...it's the most venemous fish, ever. Oh, so where do you suppose a creature such as this dwells?

Well, its main habitat is on coral reefs, around dull coloured plants, near and about rocks, or can be found dormant in the mud or sand.

Only all the places a rock would dwell as well. Of course.

HOME SWEET STONE:

The stonefish lives primarily above the tropic of Capricorn, and is known to be found in the shallow tropical marine waters of the Pacific and Indian oceans, ranging from the Red Sea to the Queensland Great Barrier Reef.

The average length of most stonefish is about 35-50 centimeters. It has a mottled greenish to mostly brown colour which aids in its ability to camouflage itself among the rocks of many of the tropical reefs. It eats mostly small fish, shrimp and other crustaceans.

Oh right! It's carnivorous too.

One of the funnest fact of our little tricky friend is that it is a fish that can survive out of water for up to 20 hours. That's almost a whole day worth of extra danger, should one choose to come to shore and terrorize us on our own turf.

The Stonefish VENOM:

Its dorsal area is lined with spines that release a venemous toxin. It is the most dangerous of known venemous fish and its venom causes severe pain with possible shock, paralysis, and tissue death depending on the depth of the penetration. This level can be fatal to humans if not given medical attention within a couple of hours.

Typically, surviving victims suffer localized nerve damage occasionally leading to atrophy of adjoining muscle tissues.
The pain is said to be so bad that the victims of its sting want the affected limb to be amputated.

(The poisonous sting of Scorpion Fish and Lionfish are said to deliver the same level of pain.)

EVADING:

It has not yet been confirmed if the Sting Ray Shuffle is 100% effective in evading these creatures, but in theory it should work. At the very least you will kick Mr. Stonefish and want to amputate your toe isntead of stepping directly on him and begging the doctor to get rid of your whole, fully engulfed in the worst pain you have ever felt, foot.

I'm just saying, I'm not going to let a poisonous rock make me a cripple.

I ain't gunna be no one's appetizer

2008-03-20T09:18:00.000-07:00

The Humboldt Squid

There is an alien intelligence residing deep within the Monterey Bay, a bizarre life form that appears to be proliferating by the thousands in cold black waters far below the surface. It resides within creatures that have three hearts, primate-like stereoscopic eyes, blue blood and brains large enough to suggest they are among the smartest creatures on earth. They are giant raptorial predators with a taste for flesh. Growing up to seven feet long and occasionally bigger—possibly much bigger—these carnivores seize their prey with two lightning-fast, hook-laden tentacle clubs, draw it into a squirming nest of eight arms and proceed to tear chunks of flesh from its body with a disproportionately large, razor-sharp, parrot-like beak.

They are notorious cannibals. They have been called the most opportunistic killers in the sea. They have been observed employing cooperative hunting techniques, yet they will not hesitate to gorge upon one another should they sense the slightest possible opening. Although they primarily hunt fish, they have been rumored to kill and eat small mammals, even dogs. They will attack anything over which they sense an advantage, including humans. Divers recount breathtaking beatings, painful lacerations from their sharp hooks and even incidences where, working in teams, these animals have dragged divers into deeper water to subdue them.

They are Dosidicus gigas or Humboldt Squid, the fiercest of all the cephalopods, and for reasons unknown to science, they are appearing in huge numbers along the West Coast, from the Gulf of Mexico to Southeast Alaska, including a sizable population right here in the Monterey Bay.

The Humboldt squid is capable of changing colors several times a second, from the deep maroon that prompted Mexican fisherman to dub them los diablos rojos, or “red devils,” to an opalescent white. They have been observed pulsating like jittery strobe at each other, principally while hunting or feeding, a behavior that some researchers theorize could be some form of communication.

There is just too much information to post on these squid. And now they are in California. Granted one will probably not be playing in the waves of a beach in Oceanside, it's still a scary thought. They have been reported to attack prey in a "gang bang" style. And during a special I watched on some Discovery Channel type program, a group of smaller Humboldt squid caught some prey (large fish I believe) and drug it down to a much larger squid. The lack of light at this depth didn't allow the camera to capture more than the reaching tentacles, and the galre of an eye. But with the technology we have today the researchers were able to calculate that the hidden moster was about 120 ft long.

Let me repeat that: 120 freaking feet long!

To the group of 6ft Humboldts you are probably going to be a nice meal for a group of buddies. Like a plate of ribs, or a holiday ham to split between family members. But to Mr 120 Feet you are nothing more than an appetizer. At best.

The first thing I tell all my friends about

2008-03-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

The Sting Ray Shuffle.

Who knows how many times this has saved my life!

The sting ray shuffle is the simple act of shuffling your feet on the ocean floor as you enter. This simple act can save you a multitude of difficulty. This will kick up the sand, letting any sand-basking sting ray know you are on your way, and give him opportunity to move before you step on him! This way he doesnt get stepped on (probably not too pleasant) and you dont have to get stung (definitely not pleasant).

Now I know that when you want to frolic in the waves of the all-inviting sea water the last thing you want to do is take some extra time to shuffle your feet....you might even feel a tad bit silly...but it's worth it.

Me giving an example of the sting ray shuffle at Lisa's bachelorette party

Remember kids: When entering the Sea don't be tempted to hustle, always do the Sting Ray Shuffle!

Welcome to DSAA

2008-03-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

This is the Dangers of the Sea Awareness Alliance!

The Sea. A very dangerous place.
Beautiful, magestic, and mysterious.
We know more about outter-space than we know about our own ocean.

It is so easy to get distracted by the beauty and the appeal of the ocean, but what lies beneath may not be so apealing. Or beautiful.

The DSAA is your source for information on what to look out for to make sure your Sea experience is nothing but a pleasant one.

Please note - I do not hate the ocean. I love the ocean. I just have a very healthy fear of the things dwelling in it that can kill or potentially harm me in any way. Also the bone-crushing waves cause some worry as well.

I thank you.